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You can read all the books you want. Heather and I did. We read a lot of them.

You can talk to people who already have kids for hours about their own experiences raising children. We did this too.

But, NOTHING really prepares you for what happens. It's so personal. So individual.

When I first looked down at my sons when they were born I knew that a new chapter was starting. It was such a clear moment, and my life crystallized right then.

From one day to the next, my world was turned right around. In a matter of hours, many things were different. Some would remain the same, but many would not. The responsibility factor was undeniable. Up until this point I had never been responsible for sustaining a life, or lives as the case may be, aside from my own.

Man, did that ever change.

Changing diapers? Had no idea up until then. Feeding a baby? No clue. HOLDING a baby? Nope. Some things are learned quickly by necessity.

I remember that Finn went almost 3 days without having a poop. We became anxious despite reassurances from our doctor. When the day finally arrived and his diaper was unveiled to show a concoction of green goo, Heather and I were doing high-fives.

I've never been so happy to see crap in all my life.

Whoever said that baby poop doesn't smell, doesn't have babies though.

These are the kinds of things I had no experience or concept of how to deal with. Yeah, we have read the books and take advice from others, but never before have I felt like such a navigator in uncharted seas.

Sometimes when I look down on my boys while they sleep in their crib it feels like the sweetest arrow has pierced me through the heart........