In Tune

"My music is best understood by children and animals. "

- Igor Stravinsky*

I have been in bands before.

I recorded CDs with these bands. I toured with these bands. I have stood on a stage and played music to crowds of people. Sometimes the crowds were big, but usually they were small. In short, I have had the opportunity to experience music as a participant and creator. In my more delusional moments, I like to think that I have lived the rocknroll life a bit.

Don't get me wrong though. The "music" I helped create was made solely for fun. For the creativity of it all. Thankfully, myself and my bandmates never really had any aspirations beyond that. To say that the songs we made were groundbreaking on a grand scale and would appeal to millions would be a lie. They were groundbreaking to us. They moved us, and luckily they moved some others as well. That was enough.

Heck, most of the time we were still aside ourselves that some club would actually even let us get on stage and play. I think we all secretly were waiting for the proverbial cane to come and snatch us around our necks. Yanking us away as we struggled to find the E Chord.

I played bass guitar. By playing I mean I "attempted". I was never interested in being a musician, which is a good thing, because I am not. No, I used my instrument solely as a vehicle to create something out of nothing and have an incredible amount of fun with the guys in the band.

I was never a "bass player". I only played the bass. Hopefully that contrast is clear.

However, I love music. I love making music. But, there came a time in my life when being in a band just wouldn't work anymore. If you want to make any progress at all, being in a band is like a second marriage. It takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of patience. Your other relationships outside the band will suffer a bit. Trying to explain to your partner why you must practice 3 times a week, and sometimes all day on Saturday doesn't exactly create a harmonious atmosphere.

Being in a working band becomes a thing that takes on a life of its own. It can be a cruel master at times.

ANYWAY, so after being in a band in London and moving out to California and having children, clearly my musical options were limited. But, my wife, being the star that she is, bought me an acoustic guitar for Christmas two years ago.

Now, I had never really played a guitar before. I played the bass. With only 4 strings, the bass was infinitely easier for me to get my talent impoverished fingers around. A guitar has 6 strings. 6 strings!! I had no idea how this was going to work, but I was keen to try.

So, for the last two years I have been bashing away at this poor guitar. Woe be it to this particular instrument in my possession. It could have been bought by someone that actually knew how to play it, but nope, it was bought by me. I bet when I walked into the shop, tried it out, and then bought it, this guitar let out some sort of cosmic sigh of acceptance to its eternal fate of mistreatment.

Ah well. Things have come along a bit now though I swear. I play this thing all the time. Seriously. I think it bugs my wife, but what can I do? I'm hooked on it like some music junkie.

It got even worse last year. I was in the guitar shop in August when I spied an acoustic 12 string guitar. To me, a 12 string sounds amazing. So full, so rich a sound. It really does sound like two guitars being played exactly at the same time. Some people decry the 12 string as a kind of folky, gimmick instrument. Maybe, but I'm a sucker for it. I was drooling to add this new guitar as a companion to my long-suffering 6 string.

ANYWAY, this 12 string guitar was on sale for a pretty good price. I mentioned it to Heather that night. Incredibly I heard these magic words fall from my lovely wife's lips:

"Well, I could buy it for you as your Christmas gift"

Zowee. I was over the moon. But, hold on, it was only August I thought. Christmas is like, a gazillion days away.

This is the part where my wife does something that reminds me why I married her. She goes on to say that although I can run down and spend our family's money on this thing, it is indeed only August and it is indeed meant to be a Christmas gift.

So......I was instructed that I would not be allowed to play it until December 25th.

I had to laugh. She's quite a woman for sure. I agreed to this kooky deal and had to look at this brand new guitar sitting in the corner for 4 months before I ever got to play it. The waiting made the acquisition all the more sweet. I enjoyed having something to look forward to, and it's a great story to boot. Once Christmas rolled around and I actually had my first strum across its 12 strings, it was more fun than I could have possibly imagined.

The most satisfying part for me about playing my guitars (as in the plural of "guitar", that's 2 guitars in my collection now! Nigel Tufnel has nothing on me!) is sitting on the sofa making songs and writing down lyrics to go along with them. I sing them to my kids, my wife, my dog, myself. All of my "songs" deal with family stuff really. My dubious quiver of tune topics run the spectrum of who I sing them to, which is again, my kids, my wife, my dog and myself.

Who am I to think I can write a song about the world? Or politics? That would be a bit goofy really. Some suburban guy in his mid-30's sitting on a sofa he bought from Macy's writing about the intricacies of global issues? Nah, that's something I can't bring myself to do.

But I can sure write a song about how much I love my family.

I gotta work on my voice a bit though. Sometimes even the dog will leave the room.

*thanks to J.Resh for bringing this quote out into the open.